Week 10

[aj]

Well, I made it to week 10. The odds are obviously against me, but I will somehow make it through. I honestly feel like the loser who is excluded from the cool kids table while they make friendship bracelets. I truly feel that nobody except Kendell (...) cares to talk to me right now. Which, I know, they don't need my vote for anything, but are they forgetting that I will be on the jury?! And at this point, I don't really want to vote for any of them.

This is how alone I am feeling in the game.

[aj]

That awkward moment when you're in a chatroom with Ellen, Kendell and Colleen (CAKE) and you find out all these secrets that you never knew about your ORIGINAL tribe. -___________-

Jonah, Leah and Kendell had a f3 deal??

Kendell and Liam had an f2 deal??

Chase and I were considered "on the outs" of Liberty??

It was "so obvious" that Jonah and Leah were secret pairs??

Sure makes me feel a little stupid.

[aj]

Well, everyone is basically saying Kendell won immunity. I feel bad for not giving a greater effort to that challenge, but I truthfully had a busy day and wouldn't have had time to do much more. And even if I did, it seems like Kendell did a LOT for this challenge.

I don't want to jump the gun, but I definitely need to start thinking of solutions. Kendell definitely needed this immunity, but now I am the vulnerable one. There's no doubt that I'll be receiving some votes, but I am just going to do my best to try to stay in.

I do think that Ryan still wants to keep me around. Ellen and I have been bonding lately, so maybe she will as well? Carly and I have been on good terms too. Ben and I haven't been as close lately, but hey, you never know who he might really want to keep around in this game.

I'll definitely start damage control ASAP.

[aj]

Well we just had a little "ghosts from the past" segment and I'm not quite sure what is going on. I am definitely freaking out a little bit while everyone else is laughing. But they all had secret messages for ME? WHY ME??

User Tina has entered this room.
[Ellen]  
[Kendell] ...
[AJ] OMG
[Kendell] quit
[Ryan] -_-
[Kendell] quit quit quit quit
[AJ] SHE'S BACK!!!
[AJ] OMG TINA
[AJ] I NEVER GOT TO MEET YOU
[Kendell] impersonation
[AJ] HI
[Kendell] dummy
User Tina has signed out.
[Kendell] Tina doesnt have access
[AJ] OMG ):
[Ellen]  WTF
[AJ] I'M SO SAD
[Ellen] Who was that
TINA   
[Ryan] lmao AJ
User Paige has entered this room.
[AJ] OMG
[Colleen] omg
[Ellen] girrrl
[Colleen] my daughter   
[AJ] IT'S A TWIST
[AJ] RETURN OF THE DEAD
[Colleen] i mean my mother
[Ellen] you mean your mother Colleen!
[AJ] PAIGE I AM SO SORRY FOR VOTING YOU OUT
[Kendell] please no
[AJ] PLEASE FORGIVE ME
[Colleen] yes
[Paige] no AJ
[Kendell] i know her outside of the game i literally like hate her
User Paige has signed out.
[Colleen] i miss you paige
[AJ] OMFG
[Colleen] o
[Ellen]  
[Ellen] omg
[Colleen] omg AJ you voted out my mother?
[AJ] I AM FREAKING OUT
[Colleen] :@
[Ryan] lmao
User Austin has entered this room.
[Kendell] babe
[AJ] OMFG
[Kendell] youre the hottest
Austin i would fuck you
[Ellen] omg by baby boy
[AJ] WHAT IS GOING ON
[Colleen]  
CHASE IS THE HOTTEST JS
[Ryan] lawls
[Kendell] ben same brain just blunter
[Colleen] ellen, i was seeing your son :X
User Austin has signed out.
[AJ] AUSTIN
[Ellen] aww Ben I'd love for you to be my son in law
[AJ] OMG
User Jonah has entered this room.
awww
[AJ] IS NO ONE ELSE FREAKING THE HELL OUT RIGHT NOW?
[AJ] OMG JONAH
[AJ] I MISSED YOU
[AJ] OMG
LMAO
[Colleen] i didnt miss jonah
[Ellen] HI JONAH   
[Ryan] this is killing me
who is jonah what
[Jonah] AJ
irrelevant BYE
[AJ] JONAH, IM SO SORRY YOU LEFT ):
User Jonah has signed out.
[AJ] OMG
 
[Kendell] this is annoying tbh...
this is like
[Ryan] who is doing this?
[AJ] WHY ARE THEY ALL COMING BACK?
weird
 
[Colleen] i blame ryan
User Leo has entered this room.
[Kendell] prolly a PW
[AJ] OMFG
LEO RIP <3
[Leo] AJ i have a message for you
[Ellen] Leo!
[Colleen] LMAO
 
[Kendell] HE HAS A MESSAGE
[AJ] YOU DO???
User Leo has signed out.
OH
[Ellen] OMG
lMAO
[Kendell] bye
[Colleen]  
[Ellen] OMG
[Ryan]  
[Ryan] lmao
[AJ] WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON
LFAMOA
Um
[Ryan] omg...
is that it   Wheres Chase
my baby
[Ryan] lmao Big Ben
User Yuri has entered this room.
[Ryan] YURI
[AJ] OMFG
[AJ] HE'S ALIKE
[Ryan] <3
[AJ] ALIVE
[AJ] OMG
[AJ] OMG
[Yuri] AJ
[AJ] OMG
User Yuri has signed out.
[Kendell] dead again
WTF YURI ISNT DEAD   
[AJ] Why do they all say my name??
[AJ] Is that lke a sign or somethign?
[Ryan] maybe...
[AJ] This is probably a clue to the hidden subway in some form
[Kendell] ... omg
[Kendell] WHAT CITY IS LEO FROM
User Leah has entered this room.
[Kendell] LEAH
who is leah
[Kendell] QUEEN LEAH
Who the FUCK is Leha
[Leah] AJ, i have a message

User Leah has signed out.
LEAH*
oh
Ok
 
[AJ] WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT
[Colleen] LMAO
[Ellen]  
[AJ] WHY DO THEY ALL HAVE MESSAGES FOR ME
[AJ] AND WONT TELL ME THEM
[Kendell] they have messags
Awwww   
User Liam has entered this room.
[Kendell] Liam get out
[AJ] Liam, I swear if you have a message fo rme
[Liam] AJ
[Kendell] you're weird and ruined my game
[AJ] I'm going to shit, piss and orgasm all at the same tiem
[Liam] you must know something very important
Liam die
[Kendell] ew AJ
[Kendell] ew like for real ew
omg
[Liam] listen closely
Liam LEAVE
[AJ] omfg
MOVE.
User Liam has signed out.

[annie]

wat was that

[aj]

No clue......

[aj]

That awkward moment in the game when the person you trusted the most finally reveals their secrets they've been hiding -_______- Why didn't you tell me earlier? I just don't understand.

[aj]

Finally logged off that chat. Why is this game so stressful?! I feel so lame getting so emotionally involved in a game where I don't even know the true identity of these people.

Ryan all of a sudden is talking to me again. She is actually telling me stuff like, Ellen has some power that doesn't let anyone play items and stuff. I told her that I couldn't tell her how I really felt last round about how she acted with me because I was afraid she would get defensive, and I would feel even worse about myself. Because as lame as it sounds, the way everyone acted around me last round really made me upset. Like, what did I ever do to anyone?! It honestly really hurt my feelings, and I feel silly saying that, but it's the truth. Ryan said she didn't talk to me last round because she thought I was pissed at her. I wish I never gave her that impression, but it's hard to communicate with people who give you absolutely nothing to work with.

Ben is very similar to be game-wise. We're both emotional players (clearly I am, at least -_-). I knew he felt bad about voting out Chase last round. So I turned to him, and told him the truth about how he's one of the few people I've truly bonded with here, and how it's in his best interest to keep me around because I don't have anyone. I'm not exactly sure what he is going to do, but i do think that in his heart he wants me to stay, but his head is telling him otherwise.

Ryan claims that she has some master plan for Dominic to go this round. As nice as that would be, I don't have high expectations. Just, why couldn't we have done this last round? -_- Probably so the idea wouldn't have been "mine" =P

Whatever. I'm at the point at this game where I have no chance at winning, so I might as well just take it a day at a time and make it as far as possible.

When it comes to my jury vote, it's really the little things for me. The people who take the time out to talk to me, even when they know they don't need to means a lot. Like Ellen, I know strategically she has no reason to keep me, but she's been so exceptionally kind to me, always asking me about my day and what's going on with me. I know it's probably mostly game, but hey, it totally works on me, and I hope she knows that I do truly appreciate it.

Anyways, I'm acting like a 15 year old boy during puberty! I'm being overly emotional, but hey, this is truly how I feel. Can't help it!

[Faith]

People who play this game are vicious bitches in general.

[aj]

Haha, yeah, that seems to be true! =P But that actually does bring me to another thing I wanted to say. I know I've been bitching about Kendall a lot, but I have to say that I really do appreciate her sticking by me. She definitely could try to flip and get me out, but she's been so loyal and trying to help me and it really means a lot. I really don't mean to be making fun of her all the time, she's just hilarious. But she's also a great ally and if I do leave this round, I'd truly love to see her make it far.

[aj]

Love her so much that I spelled her name wrong....

[annie]

Annie has a big fat lesbian crush on you ~

[Faith]

AJ youre totally adorable. Yes this is an all stars alliance offer. IF YOU MAKE IT ^>^

[aj]

Aw you guys are so nice!!!! I feel like I've been a failure and a mess this entire game, so that's really nice to hear that I have someone actually supporting me! =]

[aj]

Alright, well here we are at judgement. Apparently, according to Ryan, the plan to take out Dominic has expired because Ellen didn't use her magic thing, and so now no one will vote for him. I am talking to 3 people; Carly, Dominic and Ellen and they each have told me different things.

Carly says she is almost 100% sure that we can make a plan to take out Ben. She says she has been talking to Ellen and she knows Ryan will do it, and obviously Kendell will, so we can take out Ben in a 5-3 vote.

Dominic says he wants to be 100% honest with me because he likes me, but he wants me to do the same. He doesn't want me to go, and he says that he has heard other people's names come up, so he thinks I'll be safe.

Ellen says she has no idea who will go home, but she will let me know if it's me.

Actually, everyone so far has told me that they will let me know if I am the one who is ultimately going home. I have assured everyone that I have no items to play, and I just want to enjoy my last few days in the game.

Logically though, why would anyone get rid of me? I am not saying that to try to stay in the game, I am being 100% honest: there is NO good reason to get rid of me.
- I am out of allies. Sure I have Kendell, but her and I aren't even SUPER close, so it is possible we'd vote each other out eventually if we had to.
- I have no items to use.
- I NEVER win challenges. I am not good at them, and I'm not willing to spend a ton of time doing them when I have other things to do.
- I will never win in a jury vote. Sure I am "likeable", but I have done jack shit in this game and I have absolutely no jury arguments to use.

So, if anyone is using their brain, they will remember that there is only one winner to this game. The Ellis "family" will not win this game together. I am expendable, and can be voted off any time. They should keep me around.

However, if they do decide to stick with Ellis till the end, of course I understand. I'm an easy vote off. I just hope they decide to keep me around.