Round # 10 Confessional

[ellen]

1/10/13

We just got back from tonight's Judgment and wow, you could have cut the tension with a knife. Chase was fuming on his way out and a lot of that anger was focused directly at me. His last words were to basically tell me to go burn in Hell. I feel bad, I genuinely do; I liked Chase, but he had to go. He was a dark horse who would have absolutely won this game.

AJ and Kendell, they see the writing on the wall now. I think that they just truly thought they had the votes on their side this time. The two of them are not happy. But one thing is for sure, this game changes on a dime and nothing is ever set in stone.

Ben's behavior at Judgment really rubbed a lot of us the wrong way. Brown nosing jurors is not a great strategy for convincing people to take you to the end with them and Dominic and Ryan were not amused.

I was honestly a little bit upset myself. After the way Chase came at me, for Ben to just blatantly pat him on the back and say he deserves to still be in the game... really? For such a sweet guy, that's pretty insensitive. I mean Jesus...

[ellen]

1/12/13

Everyone has been freaking out over the prospect of Kendell winning Immunity this round, but I'm absolutely loving the idea.

In my mind, AJ is a much bigger threat anyway. You can't help but love the girl, she's a total sweetheart and the longer she sticks around the harder it's going to be to get her out.

I've always wanted her gone fairly soon after the merge, and the fact that I seemed to be the only one that did honestly scared the shit out of me.

Luckily though, the stars have aligned and I may just get my way after all. Who would have thought that Kendell of all people would throw a wrench into everyone else's plans?

1/12/13

With a Kendell Immunity win quickly becoming a very real possibility, I'm not taking any chances. This round I'll be using my Blinding Light.

I want a clean vote to ensure that nothing shady happens during my crusade to send AJ to the jury.

I only have three more rounds to use the prize anyway, and not even really when you factor in the Pistol I'll probably need to whip out at some point.

It just seems like as good a time as any. I'd rather play it safe than sorry, and it's getting to the point where it could be now or never.

1/12/13

I'm not liking this at all.

I decided today that sooner rather than later would be a good time to tell Colleen and Ryan, each individually, about my HII. My line of thinking was that if I ever needed to use it, keeping that sort of secret from them for so long would have potentially cost me their trust and the game.

When I told them, I was careful of course to leave out the part where Dominic helped me find it and I also played it up as if I had just stumbled across the thing yesterday afternoon.

Initially it was like a weight lifted off my shoulders, and it felt great to get things off my chest but then Ryan started to act funny. When it became apparent that Kendell would probably win Immunity this round, and that my Blinding Light was probably going to get used, it was like watching the gears turn methodically in her head.

First, she came to me with her tail between her legs and confessed that she has had the Liberty Idol all along. I wasn't surprised, I sort of expected that much, especially because AJ seemed so clueless about the pairings and Chase obviously didn't have it... but the fact that she kept this secret from me for so long, was a big red flag.

I was willing to overlook that though and give her the benefit of the doubt... but then she told me that she found the Liberty Vote Nullifier as well and that I'm not even the first person she told about it. AJ and Carly have known since the beginning.



And as if I wasn't standing there already, like I'd had the wind taken out of me, she decided that after all this she'd pitch to me her idea to save AJ and blindside Dominic this round. WHAT THE FUCK?!

Does she think that I'm an idiot?

Saving AJ is not an option for me, especially given the relationship that I've cultivated with Dominic. I'm not about to hand Ryan the reigns of this game and allow her to control my destiny, which is exactly what I'd be doing if I let Dominic walk out that door.

We discussed the pros and cons of this move for at least an hour... it mostly consisted of her overselling the plan, and me probably acting way too hesitant for her to not regret bringing it up in the first place.

But what can I do? If Ryan wants Dominic to leave this round, the way I see it, she has the votes with or without me. She's had most of the game to work on her relationships with AJ and Carly and their votes are as good as locked; Ben is ready to jump at any opportunity to keep AJ around and any attempt that I make to work with Kendell at this point is bound to blow up in my face.

Thank God for Colleen, who sees the situation like I do, but of course we're only two votes. I can't throw my own game away trying to circumvent Dominic's impending doom, but I'll be damned if I just follow Ryan like a lamb to the slaughter.

[ellen]

1/13/13

So there I was, listening to Ryan talk about how we needed to get rid of Dominic, and in turn listening to Dominic talk about how we needed to get rid of Ryan and all the while, I'm thinking to myself, I don't want to get rid of either of them.

Luckily, AJ and Ben decided that today would be a great day to start digging their own graves. The two of them are a lot closer than we originally suspected. I mean, I had an inkling, but it's becoming clearer and clearer that theirs is a bond that needs to be severed sooner rather than later.

I will be writing down AJ's name tonight and she'll be going to the jury. She played a great game and she's a lovely girl, but this is what I've wanted for a while now.

1/13/13

Dominic is so paranoid, it's honestly exhausting. Every day, I have to constantly reassure him and talk him through like a million possible scenarios just so that he gets to a point where he feels comfortable again.

I'm sure that I'm starting to get visibly irritible whenever he brings up one of his wild conspiracy voting scenarios but you know what? I'm not even sorry about it. I mean usually I am a jittery and nervous person, but this is absolutely unprecedented. It's like seriously, get a freaking grip dude.