Round # 9 Confessional

[ellen]

1/7/13

It's just before midnight and we're all kind of going crazy right now over this impromptu merging of our two groups. None of us expected this until tomorrow.

Leah was just voted out, which to me is a shocker; the original Liberty people had the numbers over there but they didn't stick together. AJ and Chase just made a huge, albeit risky, move, choosing Carly and Ryan over their original tribe.

Now, there are so many of us in one place again and my mind is racing a million miles a second.

On top of everything I'm just ecstatic to be reunited with Ryan. She's probably the alliance that I'm most loyal to in this game; she's like a sister to me.

I was worried that time might have distanced us but it was just like riding a bicycle again years after you first learned how; picking up right where we left off felt completely natural. I'm pumped!

1/8/13

The merge is an interesting point in the game where everything essentially resets itself. If you don't like the hand you've been dealt it's a great opportunity to reshuffle the deck.

I'm weighing my options and I feel as though for now the RED Alliance is still my best bet heading towards the finals. As much as I love Ben and Colleen as people, so far, they've both managed to avoid getting any blood on their hands and that alone makes them threats in the end. When it comes to Dominic and Ryan, I think that we're all on a more even playing field.

Make no mistake though, this is about more than just tribal lines. Just because those of us who started on Ellis have a comfortable majority right now, doesn't mean that the six of us can get complacent. AJ and Chase especially are determined players who aren't going to just lay down their torches and go quietly to the jury.

First and foremost, for my own game, I need to be adaptable and also prepared to make tough decisions going forward.

[ellen]

1/8/13

Chase is delusional.

Today he told me that he wants to trust me but that he's "nervous." Given our history, I don't blame him, but what's a girl to do? I'm going to keep telling Chase what he wants to hear, just like I've been doing all game.

It isn't that I necessarily enjoy the duplicity; more so it's a means to an end. I'd be foolish to tip anyone off to the fact that I want them out.

So when Chase came to me ready so show his hand, naturally I just nodded sweetly and assured him that whatever we talk about stays between us. Yeah... right. Damn I'm good.

It took everything in me though to keep from laughing in his face at what he said next.

Chase enlightened me to the fact that he's "more in control of this game," than people think he is. He also informed me that my "allies" Colleen and Dominic will be the next to go but that he will continue to "protect" me until we hopefully can shake up the game again at seven. He hopes that I trust him because he has worked -so- hard to keep my name off the chopping block.

... really?

As much as listening to his fan fiction entertained me, none of that is happening. The votes Chase thinks he has, he doesn't and even if he did, you can bet that I'd put a stop to his plan faster than Tina can win a Two-Minute Marathon Posting Challenge.

Carly and Ryan told me all about this supposed plan, like yesterday and neither of them are actually voting out Colleen or Dominic any time soon.

It was fun though, being told sternly how things were going to be, like a 5-year-old. Thanks a lot Chase!

[ellen]

1/9/13

I won Immunity! Maybe it wasn't the smartest thing to go for, but after spending almost eight hours tediously flipping little squares on a game board, I wasn't about to step down.

Chase was glorious during all of it, loudly and repeatedly questioning whether or not people were ganging up on him (they were) and trying to make up new rules as he went along.

It came down to Ben and me, and Ben told me he'd let me have it if I helped him target Kendell this round.

I think that voting out Kendell would be a waste, she's no threat, but I didn't tell Ben that. Instead, I told him that I'd feel a lot more comfortable campaigning against anybody with Immunity around my neck. That seemed to satisfy him, and he threw Immunity my way.

Hell yeah, thanks Ben!

[ellen]

1/9/13

Ben is a hot mess right now.

No one wants to waste a vote on Kendell at this point. Yes, she's sneaky, but she's also extremely transparent about it too. And on top of that, challenge wise, I don't think she could win her way out of a paper bag.

Chase on the other hand is a strategic and physical threat; his back is up against a wall and he's fighting tooth and nail to stay alive in this game. It should be a no-brainer that he would be our target.

However, because Kendell was snotty to Ben in the Immunity Challenge, Ben is practically in tears about voting out Chase.

I empathize with Ben and I love him, don't get me wrong. He has a huge heart and he wears it on his sleeve. However, this is neither the time, nor the place for that. I didn't come out here to fight and sacrifice and give it my all to let AJ or Chase win this game.

Ben's emotions are going to cost the rest of us if we can't find a way to keep him in check.

[ellen]

1/9/13

Today, when no one else was around, Dominic and I were trying to use his clue to find the third Pistol/HII. Just having it in our possession is important because who really likes having to implement contingency plans?

Dominic was the one who spotted it first in the abandoned subway, but he got overzealous and knocked it slightly out of his reach. So -I- had to crawl down and get it myself. I offered to give it to Dominic, since technically he found it, but I knew fully well that he'd insist I hold onto the thing. He's horrified of being blindsided with two of these puppies in his pocket.

So I'm a proud gun owner now. This beauty is fully loaded and ready to go. Coupled with my Blinding Light and the fact that I have Individual Immunity this round, I'm sort of a big deal around here. I love this game.