Episode[9]

[Ryan]

[Ryan]

THIS IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS AND WE NEED THE ABILITY TO HAVE GROUP CHATS BECAUSE THIS IS THE BIGGEST CLUSTERFUCK EVER

[Ryan]

Episode[309]

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Okay, so this is the first time that I haven't been immune in the whole game. It is definitely a new feeling. However, I don't feel vulnerable. Like I know i'm not being voted out. (I swear to god if I end up getting voted out and I just said that, i will be so embarrassed). But the first round of the merge is always batshit crazy, and everyone is running around like chickens with their heads cut off. I know that I'm in an extremely awkward position, and it sucks! But I guess I will start from the beginning...

Leah was voted off in a 4-1 decision. Chase made a lame deal with us for the merge to save Carly. This was just dumb, and I only agreed to it because AJ "didn't want to piss Chase off". So I did it for her benefit, basically. Then Leah left, and when the merge was post I was like OMG FINALLY. I didn't realize how much I missed my old tribemates until I entered the Manhattan chatroom. Omg. Dominic and Ellen both messaged me right away and welcomed me back with open arms. It is almost like we hadn't been separated for 5 rounds. I realized that I have not had as much fun after the swap as I had while I was on original Ellis. I feel like the original Liberty members all felt totally powerful while they were on a tribe with me, and they did not think that they needed to waste their energy bonding with me. I mean, I had high expectations when Chase joined our tribe because people were gushing over him, but he made no efforts to talk to me until we had to go to Judgement. Original Ellis was always a party, and that was definitely lacking on the two tribes I was on during the swaps.

I realized that it would be harder to turn on my original allies than I thought it would be. Yes, AJ and I have a relationship outside of this game, but we were still put on separate tribes at the beginning. I feel as though she would understand if I stuck with my original tribal loyalties. I don't know. I will definitely try to protect her as long as possible, but I'm not sure if that will be as long as I had originally thought I could. I also noticed that I missed out on a LOT of gameplay. The other tribe's Judgements were INTENSE. Meanwhile, I was prancing around with immunity around my neck and basically tanning on the beach. It kinda made me feel like a loser and like I don't even deserve to win the game. However, hopefully if I do make it to the end, people won't hold the fact that I was immune so much against me. But that is trailing off topic...

The very FIRST thing I did after the merge was run to Dominic and tell him that Chase was after him, just as I promised I would. Chase is a shady little bastard, and AJ warned me that Chase would try to throw me and Carly under the bus. I just wanted to make sure that any alliance between Dominic and Chase would not be possible. I know that Dominic's game moves basically thrive on his ego. If Dominic thinks anyone is after him, Dominic will POUNCE. I think I basically accomplished that. So it was decided that if one person couldn't win immunity, it would be Chase. I also had a chance to catch up with Ellen, and it was so fab. I LOVE HER SO MUCH. We are basically twins separated from birth. Gawd, I had SO much fun in the chat that night. Being reuinited with Dom and Ellen was so amazing. I guess I really do bleed Ellis.

This challenge was titled paranoia, and it definitely accomplished what it was supposed to. Everyone was so heated. Kendell and Ben apparently got into a fight, and Chase was PISSED at everyone going after him. It pretty much put the nail in the coffin that Dominic and Chase would never work together in this game. I was really set on getting Chase out too. I know that he wants Carly and me to work with him, but like Chase is seriously a threat. For some reason, people feel attached to him. He is also pretty good at challenges, and I think he is capable of finding the hidden immunity idol at the merge camp. So, I think he needs to go before more clues get out. So basically original Liberty was picked off from the challenge easily. Then it was just a battle of who wanted to stay up the latest. I could've easily stayed up a lot longer and tried to protect my fab immunity record, but then I didn't want to look like too big of a threat so I left.

So then today I sign on, see that Ellen wins immunity, kind of get off and relax for a bit. When I sign on later, I learn that Ben is like not wanting to vote Chase out at all anymore. He wanted Kendell out for selfish reasons. It was super annoying because we worked so hard to make sure Chase didn't win, and it is like a prime opportunity to take Chase out. Then people started making valid arguments about the possibility of Chase having a hidden immunity idol that I couldn't argue with. I can't just be like, "oh no worries, Chase doesn't have the idol! I do!" I think I played off the idol thing really well. I acted nervous that Chase had it, and I don't think people expect me to have the idol at this point. I kind of feel bad keeping the whole idol thing a secret, but revealing that I have the hidden immunity idol would be such a huge disadvantage. Look how Dom is being targeted because his idol. Also, if people think I am idol-less, they will feel more comfortable approaching me if my name comes up. So, I want to keep it a secret for now. Hopefully I will never have to use it. In that case, I am just glad that I have it so no one else will have it. Hopefully Chase goes this round and people think the idol was flushed with him.

OKAY ANYWAY. Back to my summary of tonight's events. So I basically had talked to everyone, and everyone was settle to voting off Kendell. That would've been so hilarious because Kendell is like not a threat at all, and it would've been the biggest waste of a merge vote ever. It was actually kind of annoying. I was really frustrated about it, but people were worried that Chase had the idol. Then Chase got on and tried to start strategizing. He mentioned that he was trying to talk Ben into switching. So I asked AJ if Ben was really maybe switching, and she told me he was. I don't know if he really said that or if AJ was just trying to convince me to vote out Dom. But whatever. So I was FUH-REAKING out. I mean, original Ellis came into the merge with a 6-3 advantage. HOW HARD IS IT TO KEEP THOSE NUMBERS?! Well, it is pretty damn hard when there is no group chat feature. -____- So I was running around like an idiot, basically. And then Chase was talking to me, and he had heard people were voting Kendell and it was a huge mess. But then...lightbulb. Chase and Ben are secret partners. Ben was being SO selfish!! Also, Chase knew votes were going Kendell's way. I was like OMG I can get people to blindside Chase again. So I approached both Ellen and Dom with the idea and they were of course all for it. They both thought that Kendell was such a waste vote too. The problem was Ben. Do we leave him out in the dark and risk fracturing the alliance? I was basically ready to because he was pissing me off.

However, I think Ellen talked to him or something and Ben basically broke down and returned to Ellis. He was freaking out, and I think he was worried that he was looking a tad too wishy-washy. He came to me and was like, "Is Chase spreading shit that I'm flipping? Because then I want him out!" Welllll....it wasn't really Chase spreading shit. It was kinda me...and I was mostly worried because of AJ. But I guess I conveniently forgot about all that, so I just told Ben that Chase told me that Ben was flipping. OOPS. I needed Ben to want Chase out. So then I had to bond with Ben a bit about how Chase was throwing both of us under the bus. I mean, he really wasn't, but it got Ben to trust me and feel like he was still really involved in the group and that this whole mess didn't hurt his position in Tina's Army of Skanks.


SO NOW I'M EXHAUSTED. Luckily, we had an hour or two when it was just the 6 original Ellis members in that chat. We basically talked about how we are voting out Chase for sure for like 2 minutes. And then the rest of the time, we were basically having a party. That is what I love about Ellis. We can kind of sit back and forget about the game and just have a great time. These are the people I want to be in the end of the game with. I want it to be fun, and I want to spend my last days with my friends. I feel like I was majorly a driving force for getting out Chase this round. I could have sat back and let Kendell go, but I wasn't ready to accept a waste of a vote. Also, I think it might be easier for people to think that the idol was flushed if Chase is blindsided this round.

I just feel bad about how things are with AJ. I honestly think that she knows that I will not be able to go against original Ellis in the end. And she is probably frustrated about it. But I know she won't hold it against me forever, and we will still always be friends. She recently voted me out of a game we played in together, and I didn't hold it against her. She will do the same for me. I honestly expected it to be easy for me to just go all out and take AJ to the end and stab everyone in our way. I just don't think I have the heart to do that. However, I also don't know if I have the heart to write down AJ's name. Sigh. I will worry about that when the time comes. Right now, I just want to chill out because Chase will be gone just as I wanted. I'm just in a lose-lose situation because I'm friends with everyone, and I have some sort of deal with basically everyone left in the game. However, Chase was going around saying how Carly owed him so much for voting off Leah, so hopefully Carly gets more blame than me. That sounds awful. I love Carly. Ugh. The game is just going to keep escalating and getting tougher and tougher.
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[Ryan]

I wanted to expand a bit more because I realized that my post sounded like I was only sticking with Ellis for emotional reasons. There is much more to it than that. Yes, I admit that I play a lot with my heart, but I also believe that it is the smartest decision strategically. Like I mentioned, Carly may take a bit more fall than me. Also, I know AJ will not be mad at me for voting off Chase. Kendell will be the only one pretty disappointed. So I will still be in the clear. Had Carly and I switched, we would've left Ellen, Ben, and Colleen in the game, mad at us, and after us. Also, it flushes a lot of jury votes for me. I feel like it is a little more acceptable for me to turn on people to go with my original tribe than to turn on my original tribe. So I honestly think it is a good strategic decision.